Geneva 09, Part Three

And here we go! Last post, most crazy autos!

Ferrari 599XX

So I feel like I should explain what this thing actually is. So, back in 05, when Ferrari came out with the Enzo, they also made a special version of the already very special supercar called the FXX. Now, only the customers who were preselected to purchase the Enzo were offered the FXX, and even then it was few of them. There are only 30 FXX in existence, with one belonging to Ferrari as a museum piece, and the final car, #30, the only all black FXX belonging to Michael Schumacher. The FXX was not a car you could buy and drive to parties to impress people, oh no. It had a ridiculously low ride height and slick tires, which meant that it was in no way, shape, or form road legal. The interior had none of the posh supercar pizazz – it was all scaffolding and rollcage, with race seats, wires everywhere, aircraft grade switches, and probably a fire extinguishing system or two. In fact you didn’t even own the car really. Ferrari kept in stored in their garages at special test tracks, and let you drive it a few days a year as part of the development program. That’s right, for about 2 million USD, you got a car, some fancy red overalls, and a crew of race engineers to tell you a bunch of things you couldn’t possibly understand. The whole point of the FXX was as a middle ground between Ferrari’s F1 cars and their latest supercars – in essence, a prototype testbed. Now, the FXX program is over, and the replacement is this thing, the 599XX. Now, my opinion on the normal 599 has always been fairly neutral, and indeed so has my opinion of Ferraris in general. In fact, the last one I really liked was the 430 Scuderia. I like the 599XX probably for similar reasons – this is what Ferrari is good at: not fancy cars for people to show off in, but monsters designed to live on a racetrack and pound out quick lap times. Just look at this thing it’s all business. See those arch pillars behind the windows? On the normal 599, those are there as a very clever way to produce downforce so a spoiler is not necessary on the tail. They’ve installed some miniature wings (or possibly constructed additional pylons) on those. See that lower vent behind the front wheel? It’s not a vent, notice it’s not connected at the top, these are actually fins/wings/something. There are similar wings behind the rear wheels. Just imagine the effort that went into figuring that out, haha. What nerds. But it’s cool, to be sure. And just look at the brakes! At first I got fanciful and thought they were made of dark matter or something, but it’s just carbon. But come on, you can’t exactly boast that your car has that. And this thing therefore, is seriously cool.

Rating: I just went on too long of a spiel.

Lamborghini Murcielago LP670-4 SV

Fresh off that much too long passage…is this! A car..with….a really freaking long and complicated name. Dammit. Anyway, this one will be short and to the point. I can’t understand why Lambo names have gotten so convoluted lately, but I am not complaining, because the stuff they are putting out lately is great. Well, except for the Estoque, which I didn’t really like. But I think this definitely makes up for it. You thought the Murcielago LP640 (Bruce Wayne’s car in Dark Knight) was crazy? They just made it crazier. Unlike Ferrari, Lamborghini seems to be all about shoutyness and fire above technology and finesse. Which is not to say this is crude, by any means. That engine bay…Well you could probably hide from Imperial stormtroopers in there, but I’m not sure you’d want to share a room with a big V12…Isn’t this thing crazy though? It’s got a huge scaffolding-like rear diffuser, and some kind of honeycomb carbon something engine cover over it’s big beating 670 hp heart.

Rating: It’s some kind of platypus-reventon-bee-vampire-scaffolding frankenstein of parts, but man it’s awesome.

Spyker C8 Aileron

It’s no secret that I love Spyker. And they’re not even Swedish! But the truth is, these guys make even the Swedish look sane. I mean, they used to design planes! And now, their top trim model is the Dutch royal family’s frigging golden carriage! That’s right, like a horse drawn Victorian era carriage! The first time I saw the Aileron sometime last year, I could not quite understand what was supposed to be great about it other than it being a flatter, longer C8. But this one at Geneva…there’s something distinctly different about it. Though it’s still got Spyker’s goofy fish grille, the illogical hood, the turbine fan wheels, and those strange vents that resemble either jet engines or headphone jacks, I do love what they’ve done with it. I think part of that too is in the eyes, which seem much sharper and focused, which is a nice departure from the C8′s normal goofy google eyed fish face. Also, one of the best parts about Spykers, that glass twin-bubble roof remains! I can’t understand why or how Austin Powers’ father could hate the Dutch. Other than the fact that Goldmember is one.

Rating: Imagine getting your arm chopped off by one of those wheels – what a way to go!

Aston Martin DBS Volante & V12 Vantage

You know, for the first time in just about forever I’ve found an Aston Martin I do not like. Yes, the Lagonda concept from this Geneva show. What the hell…an SUV? Really AM? Come on here, that…that just doesn’t work. I mean, even the Rapide was wonderfully executed despite being a 4-door saloon, why would you do something like this? Luckily, in order not to overly offend people, Aston Martin have brought along 3 very special show pieces. First in the red, we have the DBS Volante. That’s Bond’s car from Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace, just with the top chopped off. Ha, imagine him doing the 6 rolls in that…And in the dark grey is the V12 Vantage, which is basically the V8 Vantage, but they’ve somehow managed to fit an engine with another 4 cylinders in there. Egad, it must produce frightening power! Good work as always, boys!

Rating: No Mr Bond, I expect you to drop the top!

Aston Martin One-77

I mentioned this little number, the last of Aston Martin’s new toys (I refuse to blog about the Lagonda) in my post about Paris. Back then, it was little more than a mock up made of whatever stuff they make concept car mock ups out of. I mentioned back then that it looked like it wanted very much to punch you in the middle of the face. That’s true it retains the aggressiveness, the muscle, but now those side vents have given it a kind of strange evil grin. Like it’s going to fight you, and then eat you or something. I’m still in love with this, the most expensive, most unobtainable, and most special of Aston Martin’s latest creations. Handcrafted body? V12 engine? Looks that could probably get you in bed with half of Europe? I think that Aston Martin has truly created something grandiose, and a halo car for a company as prestigious as this is quite an accomplishment.

Rating: Swiss neutrality may be in jeopardy here. Swiss sovereignty too, but this car will just eat them and insult their families.

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